The characters and world of Firefly belong to Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon and a bunch of other people I don't know.
Acknowledgements: Much love and thanks to dirty diana for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
"Our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught." Percy Bysshe Shelley, To a Skylark
Inara tossed in her bed. Bright lights, insistent questions, blue gloves flashed through her mind. She sat up, shivering. Getting out of bed, she moved to the floor, breathing in and out slowly. It didn't help. Her mind refused to clear. For tonight at least, meditation was impossible. She sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was spend yet another night staring at her shuttle walls. Enough, she commanded herself. Inara Serra was not the type to let herself be beaten. She got up and put on her dressing gown. Maybe she could find something in the infirmary to help her sleep.
She was surprised to see the light on in the infirmary, though she shouldn't have been. Ever since Inara's capture, Simon had been more determined than ever to find out what exactly the alliance had done to River. Simon looked up from his notes as the door opened. "Inara," he said. "Is something wrong?"
She bit her lip, but looked him in the eye. "I can't sleep," she replied. "I thought there might be something ..."
"Of course." He moved swiftly to a drawer and pulled out a small packet, but he didn't hand it to her.
Instead, he studied her face for a moment. "I'm fine," she reassured him. "I just can't sleep."
"I should have talked to you about this before," Simon told her. "You need to talk to someone."
"I can't," she said, firmly taking the pills out of his hands. "I don't know a counselor I could trust that wouldn't be an exposure risk for you and River."
"I know," he answered. "I appreciate your thoughtfulness. But you're making yourself sick. I had a little training back in Medacad, if you trust me."
"Of course I trust you." She swallowed the pills. "But you don't need another patient. You have enough to worry about."
"I'd worry about you no matter what." There was an extra layer of meaning to his tone. No companion, even a tired one, could miss it.
"Simon?" she asked.
He stiffened. He knew what she was asking. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean — You don't need to be burdened with my feelings. Please, just forget it."
"Wait," she said. "You don't have to apologize. It's just that I thought — Kaylee."
He shook his head. "Not anymore. I missed you, you know. After you left, and then when I found out they were holding you for questioning, I knew for sure that I couldn't lose you. It's 'shiny' though. I understand that you — that Mal..." His voice trailed off, and he ran his fingers through his hair.
It was Inara's turn to shake her head. "No," she said. "It wasn't right between us. I don't think it ever could be. That's why I left, you know."
She yawned then. She didn't know if the medication was kicking in or the sleepless nights were just catching up to her. "You should go to bed," Simon said.
Inara looked at him. He too, had dark circles under his eyes, and there was a slight tremor in his hands. "You too," she said.
He smiled faintly. "Who's the doctor here?" He picked up his pen again. "I will soon," he answered. "I promise. I just need to finish checking this one—"
"No," she interrupted. "You spend so much time caring for other people. Let someone take care of you. Come with me."
He dropped the pen. "What? I. No. What?" he stammered. She could tell that he wasn't sure he'd heard right.
She moved toward him to erase all doubt. "I don't want to be alone tonight," she said. "I need this, and so do you."
"I — it wouldn't be right," he said. "You're tired, and scared. If you don't want to be alone, I can just sit with you until you fall asleep."
"You stupid man." Inara let a hint of annoyance cross into her voice. For all his words to the contrary, she could see the increasing bulge in his pants and the heat in his eyes.
"I'm not doing this for you," she said. "I need — I'm tired of being careful. Careful is what got me here. Let me be stupid and selfish. Please." While she spoke, her hand trailed lazily up his arm, causing shivers to run visibly through his body.
His eyes blazed, and she had no warning before he was kissing her. Inara had been kissed by lots of men and women. She was used to pleasant kisses, awkward kisses, teasing kisses, but she had never been kissed with such intensity before. Simon's tongue dipped hungrily into her mouth. She realized with a shock that she wanted Simon. Not just because he was a friend, and she was lonely. She wanted him, because he was Simon. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, their clothed bodies arching into each other. The kiss went on, and for the first time since she had become a companion, Inara forgot to think. It was Simon who pulled away first.
His face slid against hers. He seemed reluctant to pull away, and there was a tiny hitch in voice when he said "Inara, after this I won't be able to just walk away."
She swallowed hard. Did he know what he was asking? She thought about promising whatever he wanted to hear, but he deserved better than that. "I'll try," she said. She hardly dared breathe. "Is that — Can that be enough for you?"
"It'll have to be," he said. "Because I don't think I can stop." His hands slid down her body, caressing her and there was an urgency to his voice.
She took one of his hands in hers and started to draw him out of the infirmary toward her shuttle. "No," he said. "Not your shuttle. Let's go to my bunk." She must've stiffened slightly in defiance of her training, because he stopped and lifted her hand, kissing it. "It's not that," he said. "I didn't mean that. I have no problem with your work. I respect it; I respect you. But if we're going to do this, then we're going to do this right. I'm not your client," he said.
She relaxed and let him lead her to his bunk. She wondered whether she was becoming easy to read, letting too much of her emotions show, or if Simon was just that good. She had no time to dwell on it, though. They reached the bunk, and Simon drew the door closed gently, not wanting to wake River or Book.
Inara paused, unsure of what Simon would want. Should she undress herself, while he watched or let him strip her?
Simon sighed. "I thought you wanted to be selfish," he said. "I told you that I'm not a client." Inara blushed slightly. Evidently, she was becoming easy to read.
Simon solved the problem for her. With a piercing look he slid his hands under his shirt, pulling it over his head. She gaped at the pale, firm skin that begged to be stroked. The hard muscles of his chest were one of the most arousing things she'd ever seen. Apparently, even a companion could be surprised. He smirked when he caught the stunned look on her face, and he playfully flexed a bicep. "It's nice to be appreciated," he said.
"Oh, you—" She slapped him lightly on the chest.
He took her wrist and drew her body to him, capturing her mouth for another kiss. "My turn to peek," he said. In one deft motion, his hand slipped under her dressing gown, pulling it down over her shoulder. She slipped her arms out and let it pool to the floor. With a groan, Simon thumped his forehead lightly against her shoulder. His voice, though muffled, was clear. "You could have told me you were wearing a peignoir under that," he said.
It was Inara's turn to smirk. "You didn't ask."
"Hmph. I wouldn't be so smug if I were you," he said.
"Oh? Why not?"
"Because now it's my turn to surprise you." She reached for his pants, but he caught her hands. "Uh uh," he said. "The pants stay on." He slid down her body and lifted her hem, trailing kisses up her leg.
She felt the building ache, and closed her eyes. "This is supposed to be a punishment?" she asked.
He slid her peignoir above her hips, his mouth teasingly nipping just below her hipbone. "I don't recall saying that. You're back to appreciating me now, aren't you?"
"Mmm, yes," she said.
She couldn't seem to control her hands and they roamed over his shoulders and head. She fought to keep herself from clutching his hair when he pulled her underwear down with his teeth.
She stepped out of them and looked down. He was looking up at her with a slightly irritated expression. "This needs to go," he said, indicating the peignoir that he was still holding up over her hips.
"I don't know," she said. "It doesn't seem fair. I would need some kind of incentive. Take your pants off."
"Uh, uh," he said. Then his voice dropped a register. "But if you need an incentive, let me remind you that it would leave my hands free."
His tongue was now making lazy circles that stopped just short of her center. In an instant, Inara decided. She didn't care if he ever took his pants off, as long as his tongue was going to continue sending sparks through her body. "Free hands are good," she said. She took her hem from him and lifted the peignoir over her head. "Is that better?" she asked.
His gaze lazily roamed her naked body. "Most assuredly," he assented.
She cleared her throat. Emulating his lightly teasing tone, she said, "I thought I remembered a discussion about hands."
Simon grinned up at her. "My apologies, ma'am. I was ... distracted." Simon's hands slid down her hips, one curving along her butt check, one gently parting the tightly folded curls at her front.
His tongue swirled against her clit, drawing a whimper from her lips. She looked down at the top of his head. Was it possible for hair to smirk?
Her knees wobbled slightly, and Simon shifted them both until she was resting against the bulkhead, part of her weight supported on his arm. His movements became less teasing, more insistent, and Inara was gasping now, her senses completely wrapped up in him. Her hands were clutching at his hair now, but he didn't seem to mind.
His tongue flicked rapidly, and then Simon pulled her closer and sucked hard on her clit. Her entire body seemed to spasm. She had just enough voice to cry "Simon" as she came, her hips shaking.
She would have worried about where her bones had gone, but it didn't really matter. Simon picked her up and carried her over to the bed. She snuggled into his chest. "This is a cliche, you know," she said.
"It was supposed to be a demonstration of my manliness," he said. "You're supposed to be impressed."
"Oh, you impressed me all right," she said.
He tried to lay her on the bed, but she held on, pulling him down with her. They landed in a heap of arms and legs and before Simon knew it he was flat on his back and Inara was straddling him. "Now will you take the pants off?" she said.
"You have a one-track mind," he said. He laced his fingers behind his head. "Hmm, I'm feeling a little tired now. I think you should help me."
"If you're that tired, then maybe you should just lie here and recover your strength," she said.
"Why Inara," Simon said, "You're a tease."
She rocked her hips against the bulge of his cock. "Am I?"
He shuddered with pleasure, and his face grew serious, though he kept his tone light. "I think you were right," he said. "The pants really need to come off." She undid his buttons and hooked her fingers under both his pants and his underwear. He lifted his hips obligingly and she pulled them down his legs. His cock, freed, stood out from his body, hard and stiff. Inara stared at it a shade too long. "I told you," Simon said. "Top three percent."
"Huh," she said. "We'll see. Don't get cocky just yet."
"Then you really need to put your nightgown back on," he replied.
Inara stared at him for a moment, and then burst into laughter at her unintended double entendre. She tried to muffle the sound in her hands. She doubted River was a heavy sleeper.
"Women," Simon muttered. "You let them take your pants off and they laugh at you." He smiled. "I like your laugh."
Her fingers teased distractingly at his nipples. "Simon?"
"Hmmm?" he said.
"No one's ever made me laugh before. Not while—" She broke off, unsure of what she was trying to say.
He nodded, with a faux-serious look on his face. "I guess you owe me your gratitude then. Let's see," he scrunched his face in mock concentration, "What could you do?"
One of her hands skimmed downward encircling his cock. His hips jerked and he moaned. "Um, not like that," he said. "I don't think we have time for that."
"Oh?" she said. "Well how about this?" She rose up slightly, and holding his cock positioned herself. The length of him slid slowly into her wet heat. "Is this more what you had in mind?
"Oh, that's ... nice," he said. She rode him slowly, as his body undulated beneath hers. "A little too nice," he said, with a groan. "We need to speed things up."
"Weren't you the one who was just bragging about being top three percent?" she asked.
"You'll just have to give me a chance to prove it later. For now—" He pulled her down, and rolled, reversing their positions. "Much better," he said.
He started the rhythm again, a little rougher, a little quicker. His mouth played at one of her nipples.
"Oh," she said. "You were right."
"I always," his breath caught as he fought to keep from coming, "am," he said.
"Well, not about the pants."
"Less talk," he ordered. He kissed her, his tongue imitating the movement of his body, thrusting in and out of her mouth. Friction and heat entwined at her core. Pleasure coursed through her body, mounting higher.
She came hard. With one more thrust, Simon followed her.
He collapsed on top of her. Her hands stroked his back. After a moment, he sighed and moved off of her. She bit back a protest and started to get up. "Uh uh," he said.
"I should go probably go back to my shuttle," she said. He pulled her to him, and wrapped his arms around her, spooning against her.
"In the morning, I need to convince you of that whole top three percent thing," he said.
"Oh, trust me," she said. "You already did. Twice."
He yawned, and his hand reached out to turn the lamp off. "Then I guess I'll have to try for top one percent."
Finis
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